Is TikTok's I'm Just a Girl Trend the Perfect Rebellion to Boys Will Be Boys?

Originally published in Popsugar UK: https://www.popsugar.co.uk/bal...

Yapping over a glass of wine, making a mess of your vanity while watching Vampire Diaries and getting ready for a night out, having pink car accessories to match a pink Stanley cup and pink pilates socks. This is what the 'I'm just a girl' trend on TikTok used to look like; the silly, girly things us women get up to as twenty something teenage girls. But as the trend evolves so has the meaning of 'I'm just a girl' and it's slowly transformed into a cultural movement (and before long you'll find it on t-shirts).

To me, 'I'm just a girl' means leaning into the whirlwind of situations and emotions we all experience. Obsessing over boys and having a new celebrity crush every month. It's overthinking the complexities of the political landscape through the lens of women's rights, or being a girls girl and telling a stranger she looks "A-MAY-ZING" in the nightclub toilet. Crying to sad songs I've purposely picked out to make me cry, damning the world and his dog during my period, being in a cocktail bar and gossiping far too loudly about friendship drama and our sex lives with my friends after spending the last of my pay check on a pretty dress for the evening — because 'I'm just a girl'.

This new definition has only come about as I've grown into my 20s – 13-year-old me would say being 'just a girl' is having a Hollister Body Spray, wearing crop tops from New Look and owning a pastel-coloured penny board. Now I tend to embrace girlhood as living passionately and unapologetically, even if it can feel messy — and my worth is no longer measured by how many Maybelline Baby Lips flavours I own.

'I'm just a girl' stems from No Doubt's hit song of the same name, which takes a satirical approach and exaggerates stereotypes often associated with women. "Oh I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite / So don't let me have any rights", lead singer Gwen Stefani sings. When it was released back in 1995, it became a feminist theme tune and since then, it's gone full circle.

TikTok users are taking the meaning of girlhood and redefining it to show an unapologetic lack of understanding or skill in parts of life (that are often dominated by men) and are shifting the responsibility — because they're 'just a girl'. From this, we've seen the birth of 'girl math' (for example, returning something you previously bought means you now have free money) and girl dinner (a measly meal of 'picky bits').

Adopting the satirical tone Stefani once used, I've also seen 'I'm just a girl' used to prove how powerful women can be, in her speech to thank attendees for celebrating the fourth year of successful marketing agency SixtySix, Martina Gordeen highlighted everything she achieved in the face of adversity, before telling the audience "but 'I'm just a girl." And of course, sanitary brand Always' #LikeAGirl campaign in 2014 was widely celebrated for breaking negative stereotypes in their film, making the act of doing something "like a girl" positive.

"I have witnessed the confidence crisis among girls and the negative impact of stereotypes first-hand," Lauren Greenfield, filmmaker and director of the #LikeAGirl video said at the time. "When the words 'like a girl' are used to mean something bad, it is profoundly disempowering […] I am excited to be a part of the movement to redefine 'like a girl' into a positive affirmation."

According to psychologist Tasha Bailey, research already shows that women often get the short end of the stick in society. "From the weight of societal expectations around appearance and emotional labour, to lower pay, less workplace autonomy, the gender pain gap, and personal safety risks," she tells PS UK. "The 'I'm just a girl' trend plays into these imbalances — ironically celebrating the freedom to stop overcompensating for the ways society lets us down. While society often fails to centre women, this trend does so with a touch of irony."

As with anything women are seen to be enjoying, backlash has come in the form of people viewing the trend as a double standard, especially in the face of criticism around the age-old phrase 'boys will be boys'. Others have argued that the phrase contributes to the infantilisation of women, with one writing on TikTok: "You're not just a girl, you're a woman, okay? Stand up. The whole thing feels like you're infantilising yourself. How hard have we fought as women to not be seen as 'just a girl'?"

Bailey provides an understanding explanation to this perspective, sharing that while the trend allows us to embrace our quirks, if taken too far, we risk minimising our strengths, reinforcing stereotypes and oversimplifying what it truly means to be a woman. But cultural journalist Habiba Katsha tells PS UK that the use of 'I'm just a girl' gives women, and particularly Black women, a metaphorical day off from being 'strong', 'resilient' and all the other powerfully positive adjectives women are expected to be in a patriarchal society.

"Sometimes I don't want to have to be strong or think nine steps ahead just to survive — I am simply just a girl."

"Black women are expected to be strong and while I think I am resilient and hyper-independent, I am all of those things because I have to be. 'I'm just a girl' is a reminder to myself that I can just be. Sometimes I don't want to have to be strong or think nine steps ahead just to survive — I am simply just a girl," she explains.

"Additionally, I don't think 'I'm just a girl' is similar to 'boys will be boys.' I think the latter justifies toxic masculinity and the former allows women to just merely exist. I also don't think it infantilises women because women have been forced to grow up and be mature in ways that men don't have to," Katsha adds.

Similarly, Bailey tells us that in a world where women are expected to "do more and be more" and, in turn, the burnout from advocating for our rights, giving ourselves grace through lighthearted phrases like 'I'm just a girl' can act as some relief. She says: "Society often exempts men from their accountability through statements like 'boys will be boys'. Yet in feminist culture, many of us women end up burning out from the constant rage and frustration of advocating for what's right. In a world where women are often pressured to do more and be more, the trend offers a reminder of self-acceptance and acknowledges our limits.

"It encourages us to give ourselves grace and pick our battles, allowing space to slow down and nurture ourselves. So in some ways, this new trend can be a rebellion to advocate for ourselves differently, with self-care and boundaries at the centre," Bailey explains.

At its core, this trend is about reclamation. As Katsha and Bailey expound, girls are adultified much sooner than boys, so 'I'm just a girl' can be an invitation for women to reclaim the girlhood that they lost so early on, tapping into a soft-life mentality. "It invites us to have moments where we don't take ourselves too seriously, humorously motivated by the ways the wider world doesn't take us seriously either," Bailey adds.

So, instead of hiding how we feel, women are speaking up about the highs and lows of girlhood in their own way. 'I'm just a girl' follows those that came before it, like 'girl power' and 'boss bitch' but bears the same impact. It serves as a reminder that the blame should be with old patriarchal standards that still cling on. After all, if boys will be boys, then it's time to let girls be girls, too.